Don’t you just hate jock itch? I mean, it can get so bad that you just can’t stop yourself from scratching, even if it is while you’re skating onto the ice in front of 15,000 cheering fans. He seems to be trying really hard to not make any faces whatsoever and give away his little secret to the world. Unfortunately, one intrepid O-Pee-Chee employee had other plans.

Some of you probably remember his 1985-86 O-Pee-Chee card (which you can read about right here) where he looked to be having a tea party with his trapper. Poor Doug Keans just can’t seem to catch a break when it comes to his hockey cards. His ’84-’85 card however, is his rookie card.

Again, I have to ask that age-old question: Why in the hell would the photographer tasked with snapping shots of the Boston Bruins on this night choose this as the photo that would best represent Doug Keans? I’m hoping that some day before I depart this Earth for the Great Beyond that I will have this question answered because it seriously keeps me up at night more than finding out the meaning of life. Seriously, if anyone out there has God on a hotline or has His personal e-mail address, please ask Him. Go now!