Shayne Corson is one sick puppy. I mean, WOW! Just look at him lounging around on his deck as his chair is CRUSHING THE CRAP OUT OF THE HEAD of that Montreal Canadiens player! How could someone be so cold and callous to just sit there so casually taking in the nice summer weather as a headless corpse lies beneath him. It’s like Shayne is Dorothy and that Habs player splayed out on his back is the Wicked Witch of the East.
It’s also not the first time Shayne-O has taken pictures with said corpse. Allow me to present to you Exhibit B in this Shayne Corson “At-Home” Series:
I see Shayne is wearing his killin’ shirt again. Nice consistency, Upper Deck! This photo may have been taken the same day as the original murder photo. I don’t want to get all Criminal Minds here, but isn’t it weird that these two cards were likely taken the same day, yet they were released a year apart?
Look at the petrified look on this kid’s face!
I can only imagine the conversation that went on just before this shot was snapped, and now YOU can too, my friend!
I present to you my brand new one-act play, The Unnecessarily Awkward Photo…
Kid: “I don’t want to do this. I feel uncomfortable.”
Shayne: “It’s OK, Bobby, just smile for the camera.”
Kid: “My name’s Billy. And I’m the neighbour kid. Why don’t you get your own kids to do this?”
Shayne: “Hey, I’m paying you good money to take this shot. The team said I need to improve my public image, and I can’t tear my kids away from their video games eight seconds to take one lousy picture, so, voilà!”
Kid: “But that Canadiens player you crushed to death with your deck chair is right behind us.”
Shayne: “Don’t worry about it. He got what was coming to him.”
Kid: “But, he’s starting to smell and I think he’s attracting the neighbourhood cats.”
Shayne: “That’s what happens when you high stick me at practice and then try to make everyone believe it was my stick. I mean come on, who’s gonna believe that?!”
Kid: “This stick is really heavy. Can’t I just use one of my little plastic sticks instead?”
Shayne: “No, we’re looking for realism here, kid. Realism!”
Kid: “Oh OK, I guess.”
Shayne: (Turns to the photographer) “You better snap the shot now; this is about as good as it’s gonna get.”
End scene.