Christmas time is my favorite time of year. I love giving and receiving presents. I love eating way too much junk food. I love spending time with my family and not having to think about work for two weeks. Of course, it is also time to enjoy the World Junior Hockey Championships. I don’t always get the chance to watch all the games due to the fact they are often played quite late or they are played while I’m out visiting family, and not everyone is a sports fan like me, so we usually end up watching something else or nothing at all. But when I do watch a game, it’s almost always magic, and the skill level of these youngsters is always somewhere between awesome and incredible.
The players always seem to be so genuinely happy to be representing their countries, and the games are as important to them as the Stanley Cup. I get the impression though that the tournament wasn’t always sunshine and unicorns. What is it with late 1990s junior players threatening to slash their throats with a skate? Of course, you probably also remember Dan Cleary and his classic National Hero card.
I swear, the poor teens who used to suit up for Team Canada really needed Bell Let’s Talk Day because there were a lot of them who were clinically depressed. I mean, here’s Cameron Mann planning to off himself in front of a camera. Then again, maybe he lost his razor and feels the need to shave, but…
Wait a minute. Is that Cameron’s ankle I see coming out of his skate? Let’s get a closer look at that thing.
That definitely looks like something covered in human skin shoved into that skate. I’m not 100% sure, but I believe one of three things is happening here. Here are my theories…
- That is in fact Cameron’s leg, which means he probably should have tried out for the Canadian Olympic gymnastics team or become an adult entertainer instead of pursuing a NHL career…
- Cameron has a third arm, which may or may not be illegal in professional hockey. In which case, he may have a sort of Evil Dead 2 thing going on, and is badly in need of a chainsaw, or…
- That is someone else’s arm or leg in that skate and that someone is trying to kill him, and Cameron is trying to defend himself. And if that’s the case, why isn’t the photographer doing anything about this potential murder-in-progress?
I invite you to share this photo with your friends and family this holiday season as you take in some junior hockey, and ask them what they think is going on. Merry Christmas to all and Happy New Year!