I’ve brought up past cards from Upper Deck’s Be a Player set, mostly because these things are without a doubt the absolute dregs of the hockey card industry. These cards contain nothing but goofy shots that have almost nothing to do with hockey. If you need further proof, might I interest you in taking a trip down memory lane to the previous inductions I’ve done for Be a Player cards here, and here.

This here card of Winnipeg Jets legend Teemu Selanne is cursed with the typical early-to-mid 1990s ransom-note font that was all the rage back then. Capital letters intermingled with lower-case letters, first names in fonts smaller than in the family name… AHHHHH! It’s just so damn vomit-inducing! Is it just me who has such a hate going on for those fonts? I honestly have no idea how I survived that period of my life, because as I look back on it now, I can’t help but cringe at the absolute ugliness that was the first half of the 90s.

Anyway, getting back to this week’s card, Teemu seems to be channeling his inner Dominik Hasek gazing lovingly at Roy Firestone. Teemu is also rocking the I’ve-just-got-out-of-bed hair style. Maybe he thinks this is going to get Roy’s motor running. Another thing worth pointing out is that this being a NHLPA Be a Player card, there isn’t a Winnipeg Jets logo to be found anywhere. This card was unleashed upon the world between the 1993-94 and 1994-95 seasons, which was of course the time when the NHL was undergoing its first prolonged lockout. No collective bargaining agreement meant no one anywhere was allowed to use NHL logos, so cards from this era are incredibly plain and boring and completely lacking flair. It might be the reason why I stopped seriously collecting cards at that point in my life. I wasn’t going to spend my hard-earned newspaper delivery money on hundreds of cards worth of NHLPA logos.

While I cannot hide my disdain for the entire Be a Player series, I sincerely hope that in the twenty-plus years that have passed since this card was published, these two kids managed to find each other.