Does anyone care to take a guess when this card was produced?  Seriously, I have no idea.  I don’t even know which set this comes from.  All I know is it is all kinds of awful, and that if I said this card was produced last year in honour of the 25th anniversary of Manon Rheaume’s one and only NHL game, I bet you NO ONE would believe me.  Why?  Look at the colours on this thing!  This card absolutely SCREAMS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE that it comes from the early nineties. Remember the Saved By The Bell opening sequence?

My sentiments exactly, Screech!  Good Lord, how did I ever survive that decade?  I mean, EVERYTHING back then was covered in yellow and funky patterns that looked faux Southwest Native American, but not at all.  By the way, faux is definitely the right word to use here.  Anytime you hear the word faux, and you are not speaking French, it is a definite sign that what you are looking at is not only unauthentic, but just loaded with cheap, cheesy pretentiousness.  Like faux leather, faux hawk, faux fur coat… I don’t what it is about that word, but it drives me nuts.

Anyway, getting back to the cardboard at hand, look at the purple!  LOTS OF PURPLE!  EVERY FREAKIN’ SHADE OF PURPLE THAT HAS EVER EXISTED!  It was as though the colour purple (the colour, not the movie), was hot s#it on the stock market, so everyone involved in the entertainment industry felt the need to use it until we collectively tapped out.  Sports were certainly not immune to this annoying trend.  Every new team that was founded or relocated in the early to mid-1990s had purple in it: the Toronto Raptors, Arizona Diamondbacks, Colorado Rockies, Baltimore Ravens, Mighty Ducks of Anaheim… I can go on, but I don’t really feel like going through pages and pages of Google Images to fill out this list, but you get the point.

Getting back to the subject at hand, the Manon Rheaume card, what else can I say? Well, for one thing,the words “Horo Browne 83” are scribbled in multi-coloured ink across the front of the card.  I had to blow the picture up to the size of my TV to make out that this autograph actually says “Manon Rheaume”.  It may say “83” or not, I’m really not sure.

Another thing, couldn’t they have used a shot of her in action?  It’s pretty damn degrading to feature Manon looking all cute and flashing a little leg, when she accomplished something pretty incredible: becoming the first woman to play professional hockey with men.  Don’t get me wrong, she was definitely darn cute, but come on, her accomplishment deserved better than a cheesy Tiger Beat-y. shot.

Speaking of cheesy shots, check this out!

If that doesn’t scream HOCKEY, I don’t know what does.  I had to include this card, because when I first saw it, it was much smaller than the shot you see above, and I could have sworn the hat she is holding was in fact a melon surrounded by a bunch of berries.

See?

It wasn’t until I blew the card up that I realized she was in fact holding a pretty little hat that seriously looks like a melon surrounded by berries.  Also, why is she dressed like she’s going for a pleasant stroll to the local Starbucks with her gal pals to indulge in some pumpkin spice lattes?  IT’S A HOCKEY CARD!!!!

Come on, it’s not like there weren’t any shots of Manon playing the odd game.  In fact, there are tons of decent shots of her out there.

See?

There was no reason to degrade Manon, but not all card companies chose to take the high road back then.

Finally, one last weird Manon Rheaume card.  Remember the card where Dominik Hasek looks to be dreaming of Matthew McConaughey in a Speedo? Well, apparently, Manon thinks about the same thing.

Well, at least she’s wearing hockey gear…