Question: Is there anything more exciting than watching someone read the morning paper and sip on a Diet Coke?
Answer: Yes, and that would be watching NHL legend Mario Lemieux reading the morning paper and sipping on a Diet Coke.
Other than that, I can’t really think of anything else that would be more exciting. Well, except EVERYTHING ELSE ONE COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE: old folks playing mahjong, whittling an old piece of wood with a rusty pocket knife, watching paint dry, you name it, it’s likely more exciting.
I think we can all agree that the All-Star Game is undoubtedly the most mind-numbingly boring hockey game of the year. The game is so lackadaisical it barely qualifies as a sporting event. I’ve seen spelling bees and chess tournaments where there was more passion and a greater chance of injury. That image above is proof the All-Star Game means absolutely nothing to most players. Most of the time, they try to find some excuse to not have to go. If it’s not “my left pinky finger has a nasty paper cut” it’s “the neon jerseys burn my retinas” or even the famous Bart Simpson “Ohhhhhhhh! My ovaries!” line.
No matter how much the NHL hypes up the contest, and no matter how many times they change the format, it always puts me to sleep. Seriously. This year’s game took place on a Sunday afternoon, a day when I had had the opportunity to sleep in that morning, and I STILL could not keep my eyes open. In the past, when I’ve sat down to watch the All-Star Game, my mind has drifted off to the coffee table where sits the latest Hockey News, and I then started reading away like what The Magnificent One is doing here. So, Mario, I understand where you’re coming from, brother.