You’ve probably seen this one elsewhere on the Internet, as it is without a doubt one of the goofiest pieces of cardboard to be spit out of a printing press. This being the Hockey Hall of Shame, however, I absolutely had to add my two cents and induct this card into the unholiest of sports shrines. This Mike Grier card from the 1997-98 Upper Deck set (#67) has an awful lot going on, and I do want to stress the word “awful”. In fact, this might be the busiest sports card ever made. I don’t want to blame old Mike here, though. After all, it’s not like he got to decide what his card would look like. I’m sure if he had had the choice, he would have chosen some action shots of him slapping home a game-winner or knocking some guy down on his ass. After all, Mike Grier was a pretty gritty player in his heyday with the Oilers. If anything, I feel bad for the dude having to autograph these things through the mail every so often. But this card… ah, it’s almost as delicious as the pepperoni pizza in Mike’s left hand; I just couldn’t leave it out of the Hall.
Where to begin here? Well, Mike’s got the casual look going thanks to said slice of pizza he’s chowing down on in the dressing room like a peewee hockey player after a big tournament, but the wristwatch… well, that is telling us the dude is all business. Got places to go, people to see, etc. He’s also taken the time to put on the full uniform and shin pads, yet he’s forgotten his shoulder pads. If that weren’t strange enough, what the hell is that thing he’s sitting on? It looks like the kind of couch once found at the side of the road on garbage day, and later that night, found on the roof of a college frat house. No matter, it’s very responsible of 1997 Mike to take the time and get himself a college education in case his NHL career doesn’t pan out. Luckily for him, he did just fine, amassing several millions of dollars over the course of his 1,060-game career. Hopefully, he has since upgraded the furniture in his living room.